1:06 PM
JA Mash
Well, well, right now we have a Drabble War regular. This will be her third war, not including her participation in our monthly prompt challenges. We’d also like to point out that her last entry, Phoenix (from the March war) is currently nominated as the Best All Human Drabble in the Eclipse Awards which are open for voting through Monday here.
Rachel - TrueEnglishRose, aka brat by me, is not so patiently joining us as she wiggles and squirms.
TER - Hey Missy, it’s been a long day reading over LCI, posting for our boys and you’re talking of swatting my ass, I can’t help it!
Rachel - *glares* Let’s get on with this shall we?
Jess - *ducks flying riding crops* you have to be careful when you hang out with these two... ;)
Rachel - *clears throat* Right! Can we have some order here? First question! When, and what, did you first write?
TER - *pfft* She wants order? lmfao. Okay in all seriousness (if that’s even possible) *She’s bloody beta’ing my effing answers!*
*Rachel interjects to point out she’s betaing TER’s answers b/c apparently she’s been drinking... TER, not me*
Jess - OLAY!
TER - Will you two pack it in! Okay, seriously now.... I first started writing way back in 2009 on a very old account that got blocked by a very young girl who wanted me to read her slash story. Yes to the slash, hell no to how old she was. Anyway, my first story was called Broken Filter and then I went on to write Bleed into Each Other and A Face in the Crowd before my account got pulled :(
Jess - at least she didn’t type olay that time tb... *snickers*
Rachel - Are any of your early stories available to read now? Can we link them?
Jess - you know TER... it takes the fun out of it when you keep deleting your comebacks...
TER - sorry Jess, I’ll try harder......Anyway, with my stories...not that I know of, they weren’t even completed, BUT, at some point when my brain gives me a break, I’ll get them re-posted :) *growls as TB takes the piss out of me in the chat bar*
Rachel - *ignores the growl and moves onto food... If you could select to be any food, what would it be?
TER - Pineapple? Melon? shit, sorry, wrong thoughts.....
Jess - *snorts* … um T, you forgot to say banana... *snickers and sings the banana potato song*
Listen HERE
Rachel - *falls over laughing* Yeah, we know why you want to be pineapple! You want to be eaten by two certain boys...
TER - Get your mind out of the gutter, ladies! They’re healthy. Now..... I would be...... *why are cucumbers and bananas coming to mind?* A strawberry. Sensual *insert a snort* sweet *another snort* yeah, I can’t picture anything really lol and Jess, I don’t want to hear any annoying songs that I’ll sing for a week in my head, no way, nope.
Rachel - *coughs* Oh the places you could go... Jess, please get us moving away from the food... what question do you have next?
Jess - Tell us about Amazed...wait, I mean your drabble war story... since I have no idea what it is or what it’s about...
Rachel - I call bullshit!
TER - girls, I’ve had a long day at work and I don’t want to have to step in between you two *unless.....No, I’m not going there... *
Rachel - mmmm... in between... girl sandwich...
TER - *Growls* TB, control yourself...
Rachel - Sorry, I’ll behave... please, take the floor and tell the readers about your amazing story...
TER - You, behave? Yeah right. Anyway, Amazed.... I had the first chapter or so written from a couple of years ago and it bugged the hell out of me that I loved the story line, but felt that I couldn’t take it any further. When I jumped in at the last minute for the May Drabble War, I thought I would actually do another story, but did Amazed instead. It centers around Bella and Edward, obviously, and they both need to find the right path in their lives. Bella has suffered something quite horrific, if I’m honest and Edward is a bastard at the beginning. It takes something big to bring him back to reality and deal with something that he never thought he could do. I don’t want to say anymore without giving too much away! lol
listen to Lonestar's Amazed HERE
Jess - Okay... spill it T... I wanna... um, I mean the readers wanna know... What is one of the most embarrassing situations you have been in?
Rachel - *snorts* Oh this should be good... hmmm... will she spill a recent story? hehehe
TER - Sexual embarrassment or just the typical fuck up? *Grumbles as TB laughs from the sidelines.* Okay, okay, something embarrassing. Without giving too much away, because I don’t want to scare you, I had a fall in the bath, the edge of it smashed between my boobs *Fuck off with that picture!!!!* Honestly, these damn girls are a bad influence on me. Rubbing me up the wrong way and all..... Yeah, so I fell in the bath and I now have purple boobs. *WAILS* I look like a fucking Teletubby! *shut it before you even start girls*
Jess - dammit tb... you took away my fun... she spelled teletubby wrong... *snickers*
Rachel - Tinky Winky!
TER - Shut it...... GET THAT PICTURE OFF!!!!! hehe
Jess - *giggles* love you, T... lol... so, I know you’ve answered this before but maybe we have new readers? Relationship status and kiddos?
TER - I have a petulant husband of thirteen years and five kids. Four of them are mine, and the oldest is my step-son. I also have an older step-son living with us as well (he’s only 4 years younger than me).
Rachel - Damn woman, sounds like fanfic fodder!
TER - lol Just a bit.
Rachel - Okay, another fun one! Which super power would you like to have and why?
TER - Invisibility. I can hide from the kids and Steve so I can actually read and write lol.
Rachel - Oh Jess... another one... she can help you organize that boy’s knickers!
Jess - hey wait... Rob’s mine... I thought you two were fighting over J...
TER - Hell no, Rob first, then Jasper hehehe, or both at the same time hehehe.
Jess - *snickers* Who’s Jasper? How do you have sex with a fictional character? Okay... sorry had to...
Rachel - Shut it Jess... TER’s on the stand, not me! *giggles profusely* But seriously... *puts on Walter face* Do you want to get/or are you published or do you just write FanFic for fun?
TER - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......No. Sorry, but no way in hell. This is a pleasure for me, just me and with work and the kids and the hubby and the pets, I need something that’s my escape.
Rachel - Wow, feisty aren’t ya? Jess, I’ll let you ask the next one because I need to go get towels for her answer...
Jess - oh geez, it must be the porn question then... *scrolls up to look* …
TER - *taps foot* Porn?
Rachel - Taps foot? I thought you had a quivering clit?
TER - If it’s porn, get a move on, I want it! And yes, I do have one......
Rachel - That’s my girl *spreads out the towels, waiting on Jess*
TER - Pfft, I live on a towel when I’m around you two....
Rachel - Erm.. *looks around* JESS!!!! She’s putting me on the stand again, get yer ass back here!
TER - Did I scare her off?
Jess - If you really wanna know where I was... I’ve mentioned my son’s two, yes? Yea... trying to potty train and he was in undies... and yea... I’ll stop there.... *siiiiighs*
TER - Awww I miss them at that age. Little buggers.....
Rachel - I don’t! Nope, not one little bit... happily handed over the car keys! Anyhoo...
Jess - Favorite type of porn... to read, to watch, site to order goodies from?
Rachel - We’re gonna be here awhile...
TER - wow, that’s a list.... Okay, are you brave? Really brave? *shut it TB, or no more LCI for you!* hehe. Okay... Fave porn.... God.... hang on, I’m thinking.... Anything with....
Rachel - *whispers* that Manuel dude with the tight ass...
TER - Manuel Ferrara in it. Damn, that man has fucking skills! Hung like a horse, French and just too damn good at everything! Then of course you have to have slash porn, that’s a must... Bi threesome porn.... Anal porn.... To be honest, all porn is good as long as the man knows what he’s doing and the woman doesn’t sound like a strangled cat in heat with catnip round her neck. Honestly... some of those girls scare me with the noises they make!
Rachel - Oops, heard a freudian slip in there, TER... Anal probing?
TER - Will you let me get on with this? *sniggers* So, where were we? Reading porn.... I haven’t actually read much in the way of books, but if you mean FanFiction, then I would have to say I read TBs stuff, of course. That’s guaranteed to get the juices pumping... I mean flowing... Ah hell, you know what I mean lol.
Rachel - I have no idea what you mean...
TER - *Glares at TB* Yeah right...lol... Toys... I order from a site called For afters, most of the time, but hubby always manages to get some interesting ones from time to time, but I don’t know where from, he won’t tell me for fear of cleaning them out, and his bank account hehe.
Naughty Naughty!
Jess - Another repeat but like I said... maybe some new people? Do you write for any other Fandoms?
TER - Nope, Twilight all the way. I love Harry Potter, but I see them as kids still, which is a little too freaky for me. I also love LotR and actually could write a bit in Elven (Sindar) when I studied it a few years back, but writing it and reading back were two different things.... lol
Rachel - Woohoo! Team Twilight! Okay, since we’re being silly, do you like Jerry or Tom?
TER - DON’T LAUGH.... Steve says I sound like Jerry when I hiccup. I said don’t laugh! Actually I love the cartoon.
Rachel - Awwww... can I call you Jerry now? Please, huh, can I???
TER - Fuck off..... You call me T and only hubby calls me that, so you’re lucky with that one, don’t push it hehe
Rachel - MEOW *whispers ‘love ya, Jerry’*
TER - *rolls eyes and sharpens claws*
Rachel - Jess, what do we have for her next? The cross, the horse, maybe the stocks?
TER - Jess, you’ve gone quiet, are you finding this funny? She’s picking on me!
Jess - I was playing with the colors... sorry... you know me and that shit... it’s like photoshop I get sucked in and you have to yell at me... lol
Rachel - Yeah yeah... organizational fetish...
TER - Sucked in where? That sounds interesting hehe. Organizational fetish? Good plot line........
Jess - Yea, yea... you know you love me... even when I’m a tad OCD... So... any stories you wanna Rec T?
TER - …... Do I have to think really hard, because my brain hurts (it’s been a long day) Erm... Can I just give you my profile link and let the readers do a lucky dip? I love all of them on there hehe.
Rachel - Sure babe, though I see what you’re on about... you just invited the readers to have a dip in you!
TER - What is up with you today and being so crude! Where’s your virginal panties that I make you wear when you’re around me. Pure corruption, I tell ya!
Rachel - Virginal panties? Are you shittin’ me? hahahaha
Jess - Last question and then you’re off the hook for now T, If you could choose one to celebrity to fuck...besides a Twilight cast member... who would it be?
TER - You’re shitting me, right? I have to choose just ONE?
Rachel - *coughs* h00r *coughs*
TER- Look who’s talking! hehe. Hmm, It would have to be my new interest... Michael Fassbender. Have you seen that man’s cock! Holy hell, I’d need a walking frame after that! Then of course his eyes! And his smile *sighs dreamily*
TER - *wipes drool from chin and laptop*
Rachel - Alrighty then, on that note, everyone make sure you follow TrueEnglishRose’s drabble, Amazed, this weekend. When waiting for her to update, there are 5 other authors drabbling with her... and when waiting on them, you could always try to get your hands on a copy of Shame, the latest Fassabender project that has all the ladies’ swoonin’.
Jess - See you all next time...
Rachel - TrueEnglishRose, aka brat by me, is not so patiently joining us as she wiggles and squirms.
TER - Hey Missy, it’s been a long day reading over LCI, posting for our boys and you’re talking of swatting my ass, I can’t help it!
Rachel - *glares* Let’s get on with this shall we?
Jess - *ducks flying riding crops* you have to be careful when you hang out with these two... ;)
Rachel - *clears throat* Right! Can we have some order here? First question! When, and what, did you first write?
TER - *pfft* She wants order? lmfao. Okay in all seriousness (if that’s even possible) *She’s bloody beta’ing my effing answers!*
*Rachel interjects to point out she’s betaing TER’s answers b/c apparently she’s been drinking... TER, not me*
Jess - OLAY!
TER - Will you two pack it in! Okay, seriously now.... I first started writing way back in 2009 on a very old account that got blocked by a very young girl who wanted me to read her slash story. Yes to the slash, hell no to how old she was. Anyway, my first story was called Broken Filter and then I went on to write Bleed into Each Other and A Face in the Crowd before my account got pulled :(
Jess - at least she didn’t type olay that time tb... *snickers*
Rachel - Are any of your early stories available to read now? Can we link them?
Jess - you know TER... it takes the fun out of it when you keep deleting your comebacks...
TER - sorry Jess, I’ll try harder......Anyway, with my stories...not that I know of, they weren’t even completed, BUT, at some point when my brain gives me a break, I’ll get them re-posted :) *growls as TB takes the piss out of me in the chat bar*
Rachel - *ignores the growl and moves onto food... If you could select to be any food, what would it be?
TER - Pineapple? Melon? shit, sorry, wrong thoughts.....
Jess - *snorts* … um T, you forgot to say banana... *snickers and sings the banana potato song*
Listen HERE
Rachel - *falls over laughing* Yeah, we know why you want to be pineapple! You want to be eaten by two certain boys...
TER - Get your mind out of the gutter, ladies! They’re healthy. Now..... I would be...... *why are cucumbers and bananas coming to mind?* A strawberry. Sensual *insert a snort* sweet *another snort* yeah, I can’t picture anything really lol and Jess, I don’t want to hear any annoying songs that I’ll sing for a week in my head, no way, nope.
Rachel - *coughs* Oh the places you could go... Jess, please get us moving away from the food... what question do you have next?
Jess - Tell us about Amazed...wait, I mean your drabble war story... since I have no idea what it is or what it’s about...
Rachel - I call bullshit!
TER - girls, I’ve had a long day at work and I don’t want to have to step in between you two *unless.....No, I’m not going there... *
Rachel - mmmm... in between... girl sandwich...
TER - *Growls* TB, control yourself...
Rachel - Sorry, I’ll behave... please, take the floor and tell the readers about your amazing story...
TER - You, behave? Yeah right. Anyway, Amazed.... I had the first chapter or so written from a couple of years ago and it bugged the hell out of me that I loved the story line, but felt that I couldn’t take it any further. When I jumped in at the last minute for the May Drabble War, I thought I would actually do another story, but did Amazed instead. It centers around Bella and Edward, obviously, and they both need to find the right path in their lives. Bella has suffered something quite horrific, if I’m honest and Edward is a bastard at the beginning. It takes something big to bring him back to reality and deal with something that he never thought he could do. I don’t want to say anymore without giving too much away! lol
listen to Lonestar's Amazed HERE
Jess - Okay... spill it T... I wanna... um, I mean the readers wanna know... What is one of the most embarrassing situations you have been in?
Rachel - *snorts* Oh this should be good... hmmm... will she spill a recent story? hehehe
TER - Sexual embarrassment or just the typical fuck up? *Grumbles as TB laughs from the sidelines.* Okay, okay, something embarrassing. Without giving too much away, because I don’t want to scare you, I had a fall in the bath, the edge of it smashed between my boobs *Fuck off with that picture!!!!* Honestly, these damn girls are a bad influence on me. Rubbing me up the wrong way and all..... Yeah, so I fell in the bath and I now have purple boobs. *WAILS* I look like a fucking Teletubby! *shut it before you even start girls*
Jess - dammit tb... you took away my fun... she spelled teletubby wrong... *snickers*
Rachel - Tinky Winky!
TER - Shut it...... GET THAT PICTURE OFF!!!!! hehe
Jess - *giggles* love you, T... lol... so, I know you’ve answered this before but maybe we have new readers? Relationship status and kiddos?
TER - I have a petulant husband of thirteen years and five kids. Four of them are mine, and the oldest is my step-son. I also have an older step-son living with us as well (he’s only 4 years younger than me).
Rachel - Damn woman, sounds like fanfic fodder!
TER - lol Just a bit.
Rachel - Okay, another fun one! Which super power would you like to have and why?
TER - Invisibility. I can hide from the kids and Steve so I can actually read and write lol.
Rachel - Oh Jess... another one... she can help you organize that boy’s knickers!
Jess - hey wait... Rob’s mine... I thought you two were fighting over J...
TER - Hell no, Rob first, then Jasper hehehe, or both at the same time hehehe.
Jess - *snickers* Who’s Jasper? How do you have sex with a fictional character? Okay... sorry had to...
Rachel - Shut it Jess... TER’s on the stand, not me! *giggles profusely* But seriously... *puts on Walter face* Do you want to get/or are you published or do you just write FanFic for fun?
TER - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......No. Sorry, but no way in hell. This is a pleasure for me, just me and with work and the kids and the hubby and the pets, I need something that’s my escape.
Rachel - Wow, feisty aren’t ya? Jess, I’ll let you ask the next one because I need to go get towels for her answer...
Jess - oh geez, it must be the porn question then... *scrolls up to look* …
TER - *taps foot* Porn?
Rachel - Taps foot? I thought you had a quivering clit?
TER - If it’s porn, get a move on, I want it! And yes, I do have one......
Rachel - That’s my girl *spreads out the towels, waiting on Jess*
TER - Pfft, I live on a towel when I’m around you two....
Rachel - Erm.. *looks around* JESS!!!! She’s putting me on the stand again, get yer ass back here!
TER - Did I scare her off?
Jess - If you really wanna know where I was... I’ve mentioned my son’s two, yes? Yea... trying to potty train and he was in undies... and yea... I’ll stop there.... *siiiiighs*
TER - Awww I miss them at that age. Little buggers.....
Rachel - I don’t! Nope, not one little bit... happily handed over the car keys! Anyhoo...
Jess - Favorite type of porn... to read, to watch, site to order goodies from?
Rachel - We’re gonna be here awhile...
TER - wow, that’s a list.... Okay, are you brave? Really brave? *shut it TB, or no more LCI for you!* hehe. Okay... Fave porn.... God.... hang on, I’m thinking.... Anything with....
Rachel - *whispers* that Manuel dude with the tight ass...
TER - Manuel Ferrara in it. Damn, that man has fucking skills! Hung like a horse, French and just too damn good at everything! Then of course you have to have slash porn, that’s a must... Bi threesome porn.... Anal porn.... To be honest, all porn is good as long as the man knows what he’s doing and the woman doesn’t sound like a strangled cat in heat with catnip round her neck. Honestly... some of those girls scare me with the noises they make!
Rachel - Oops, heard a freudian slip in there, TER... Anal probing?
TER - Will you let me get on with this? *sniggers* So, where were we? Reading porn.... I haven’t actually read much in the way of books, but if you mean FanFiction, then I would have to say I read TBs stuff, of course. That’s guaranteed to get the juices pumping... I mean flowing... Ah hell, you know what I mean lol.
Rachel - I have no idea what you mean...
TER - *Glares at TB* Yeah right...lol... Toys... I order from a site called For afters, most of the time, but hubby always manages to get some interesting ones from time to time, but I don’t know where from, he won’t tell me for fear of cleaning them out, and his bank account hehe.
Naughty Naughty!
Jess - Another repeat but like I said... maybe some new people? Do you write for any other Fandoms?
TER - Nope, Twilight all the way. I love Harry Potter, but I see them as kids still, which is a little too freaky for me. I also love LotR and actually could write a bit in Elven (Sindar) when I studied it a few years back, but writing it and reading back were two different things.... lol
Rachel - Woohoo! Team Twilight! Okay, since we’re being silly, do you like Jerry or Tom?
TER - DON’T LAUGH.... Steve says I sound like Jerry when I hiccup. I said don’t laugh! Actually I love the cartoon.
Rachel - Awwww... can I call you Jerry now? Please, huh, can I???
TER - Fuck off..... You call me T and only hubby calls me that, so you’re lucky with that one, don’t push it hehe
Rachel - MEOW *whispers ‘love ya, Jerry’*
TER - *rolls eyes and sharpens claws*
Rachel - Jess, what do we have for her next? The cross, the horse, maybe the stocks?
TER - Jess, you’ve gone quiet, are you finding this funny? She’s picking on me!
Jess - I was playing with the colors... sorry... you know me and that shit... it’s like photoshop I get sucked in and you have to yell at me... lol
Rachel - Yeah yeah... organizational fetish...
TER - Sucked in where? That sounds interesting hehe. Organizational fetish? Good plot line........
Jess - Yea, yea... you know you love me... even when I’m a tad OCD... So... any stories you wanna Rec T?
TER - …... Do I have to think really hard, because my brain hurts (it’s been a long day) Erm... Can I just give you my profile link and let the readers do a lucky dip? I love all of them on there hehe.
Rachel - Sure babe, though I see what you’re on about... you just invited the readers to have a dip in you!
TER - What is up with you today and being so crude! Where’s your virginal panties that I make you wear when you’re around me. Pure corruption, I tell ya!
Rachel - Virginal panties? Are you shittin’ me? hahahaha
Jess - Last question and then you’re off the hook for now T, If you could choose one to celebrity to fuck...besides a Twilight cast member... who would it be?
TER - You’re shitting me, right? I have to choose just ONE?
Rachel - *coughs* h00r *coughs*
TER- Look who’s talking! hehe. Hmm, It would have to be my new interest... Michael Fassbender. Have you seen that man’s cock! Holy hell, I’d need a walking frame after that! Then of course his eyes! And his smile *sighs dreamily*
TER - *wipes drool from chin and laptop*
Rachel - Alrighty then, on that note, everyone make sure you follow TrueEnglishRose’s drabble, Amazed, this weekend. When waiting for her to update, there are 5 other authors drabbling with her... and when waiting on them, you could always try to get your hands on a copy of Shame, the latest Fassabender project that has all the ladies’ swoonin’.
Jess - See you all next time...
